Halloween 2011

We just entered the girls in a Halloween Costume Contest for our local newspaper. The winner gets a gift certificate to the place where we have our vehicle serviced. If you have a minute, please register and vote for Gwen the chef  and Samantha Grace the crab! It would be wonderful to have a few free oil changes since we run the roads for doctors appointments so often. Thanks so much for all your support!
http://mtairynews.upickem.net/engine/Details.aspx?p=A&c=40323&s=12527299&i=1&m=X#SD

October 27, 2011

We are SOOOOO happy! The cyst had stayed the same. If you look at the MRI images from August, September and the one today side by side the cyst has not changed all that much from August. It is large but it is showing no signs of creating pressure in the brain at this time. Her head had grown some but the cyst had stayed the same! I asked them what were the chances of doing surgery on it in the future and they said if it stays like this no surgery will be needed! Thanks so much for your prayers.... God was listening and He gets the glory for all of this! It was nice to have a little peace in my heart tonight! Just to hold my sweet girl without the worry..... BLESSINGS!!! We will go back in January for another MRI to check to see how the cyst looks then. Until then, life goes back to normal~ or the new idea of normal anyway! WHOOOO HOOO!

October 26, 2011

Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You. (Psalm 56:3 NKJV)

So tomorrow afternoon is Samantha's next MRI and Neurosurgery visit. Just over three weeks ago was her last MRI which showed that her cyst had grown. This will be her 5th MRI since her last surgery in August. A good friend of mine told me to try to enjoy the time with Samantha without worrying. I have really tried to do this but as the days grow closer to the scan it has gotten harder. When I measured her head tonight I could see a difference from the last time about a week ago. Overall she is doing well, it just makes me sick to my stomach to think about her having to go through surgery once again. The cyst is large enough that something will have to be done with it at some point and I have a feeling that her doctor will tell us tomorrow that it will be soon. Please know that these thoughts are not from a lack of trust that God can fix it. I believe that God has already worked miracles in Samantha, but I also know that God places us in situations for His purpose. "To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven: (Ecclesiastes 3:1 NKJV)" Even though I am worried about what tomorrow holds, I hold tight to God's love and the fact that his plan is PERFECT! I think so often these days about just how blessed we are. If Sam would have been born before the 50's she would be fighting for her life right now because shunts were designed in the 50's. So we are so blessed to be living in a time with modern technology. We are also blessed to live in an area with an amazing pediatric neurosurgeon less than an hour away. We also have an amazing group of people who we are blessed to have take care of Sam at the hospital. God has also blessed us with such amazing friends and family! Your support and prayers have gotten us through some really hard times. One year ago tomorrow was when my gallbladder was taken out and my health started improving. It is also the start of us finding out about the situation with Samantha. It is amazing to think where we have come in a year. I will post tomorrow night when we find out more about the cyst from the scans. Here is some videos of Sam from tonight. She was very please with herself because she learned to make bubbles. She also started saying dada last week! Even though it is a huge milestone, it is a sore subject at our house because a certain someone likes to rub it in!! Thanks for any prayers you can send our way tomorrow!!!



September 30th- 6 MONTHS OLD!!!

The last week has been a one day at a time week. I have had such a feeling of just being overwhelmed. Knowing that the fluid has increased and the possibility of another surgery has weighed on not only my heart but Travis' and Gwen's as well. Last night as I was watching TV, I held Sammie Grace while she was sleeping and a rush of peace entered my soul. I know it was from God. When I woke up this morning the first thought that entered my mind was that Sammie is 6 months. It was so strange because I had been so busy this week that I had not even thought about it. It has been half of a year of loving a sweet little baby! Gwen also reminded me this week that October reminds her of me being sick. It is such a praise that I am able to enjoy one of my favorite seasons this year. I remember looking out the window of my bedroom last year seeing the leaves change. It was like the movies when they are trying to show you how time has passed by. Today I have been filled with joy. I think God knew I needed it. I am so joyful that my sweet daughter is here with us and we can celebrate her being 6 months old. I am so joyful for my health! Gwen memorized all of Psalm 23 this week for Awana. I think that God wanted me to remember that we don't have to be afraid because He is always with us!



September 23, 2011

Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage,

And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!

~ Psalm 27:14

We had a visit with the neurosurgeon yesterday at 2:30. I worked in the morning and had a little bit of time with Sam before her appointment. It was so good to have some time with her since I missed her this weekend when Gwendolyn and I went to Florida. I also enjoyed having some alone time with Gwendolyn. She has been such an amazing kid through all the things our family has gone through in the past year. At her appointment Sam's head was measuring a little larger than just two weeks ago. When we had gone in August it had jumped from the middle line on the chart to completely off the charts. At the last visit it had made it back down to the second highest line and this visit it was charted on the top line. Because of this and the fact she is still having some slight other indicators things could be wrong they decided to have an MRI to check the cyst. On the last MRI that was done, the cyst takes up about 1/3 of the photo of her brain when looking down from the top of her head. They wanted it done soon and since I live about 45 minutes from the hospital they added her in for a scan at 9 o'clock last night. They weren't able to get her back until about 10:15. The good thing is that her scan only takes about 10-15 minutes. We were able to finally get home shortly after 11:00. It just made for a long day when I had not planned on it taking us so long down there. This morning Travis and I were on pins and needles waiting for our doctor to call with the results. Since our main neurosurgeon was in surgery today, we were able to talk to the PA and she let us know that the cyst had grown from last time but it didn't seem to be causing pressure. She was going to talk to our doctor and see what he wanted to do. After our main doctor looked at the scans he decided to wait for a month and have another MRI. Then we will see him right after the scan. I am relieved that we are not looking at surgery at this time but I still feel the stress of the possibility. This is why I added the verse above. It is a verse that I read the other night and something made me read it over and over to myself a few times. I now know that something was God. It came to me when I was finally able to take a minute this afternoon to just sit and process it for a minute. Although I am so tired of all of this, I know down deep that it is okay because He is with me. I have to just praise Him for all my blessings. My two precious girls and my wonderful husband! All my friends and family who have stood by me through all that we have been through. And so many others who I might not even know who continue to pray for our Samantha. Not every moment of every day I am strong, but when I am weak He is there to provide me strength. "God does not take away trials or carry us over them, but strengthens us through them." ~ Edward B. Pusey

September 13th- 5 1/2 months

I am just tired. I have actually written a post in the last two weeks but I didn't publish it because it was kind of a "stressed out" post. I have found that sometimes it is just therapeutic for me just to get it all down. However, my sweet McKeaver girls told me that they check my blog most days for an update so I thought I would share a little bit about what is going on.
-A little over a week ago Sam had a check up with Neurosurgery. It was not necessarily a bad check up, but it was one that had me thinking. Because Sam needed the second shunt and because of the cyst that came up when the pressure in the fourth ventricle was relieved, they now consider Sam to have Complex Hydrocephalus. It really just puts her in a different category of hydrocephalus. We talked about watching her head measurements daily and the possibility of the cyst growing larger in the future that could lead to surgery.  I asked if it was possible that another pocket of fluid (cyst) could appear at that time and the answer was yes. She said that there was actually a patient that this happened to and he had over 20 surgeries until the fluid stopped causing problems. I guess I am having a hard time relaxing about the whole situation because the last time I did, I felt like the rug was pulled out from under me when we went back into surgery. We also talked about the stiffness in Samantha's muscles and the possibility of a diagnosis down the road of cerebral palsy. She did explain that there is a wide range of CP. Some kids you might not even recognize as having it once they finally reach milestones. I guess it was just more stuff to think about.
-Last week we finally had her physical therapy set up again and had another evaluation done. The good news was that she scored in the normal range. The main impairments that she saw this far were her body's range of motion, flexibility and head control. The blessing is that we are starting Sam early and this will help us work with her to overcome obstacles faster than if she was not receiving these services.
-Last week we also found out that my maternal grandmother passed away. Even though it was a blessing that she is not suffering anymore, she was an important part of my life and she will be missed. It also means that I need to travel for her memorial service. Because it is out of state, we have decided that Gwendolyn and I will travel to the memorial service, while Sam will stay here with Travis. We just feel that she needs to stay close to the hospital just in case. I am VERY anxious about leaving her for the first time ever! I know she is in good hands with Travis- but it still is weighing heavily on me right now.
I guess overall I feel very burdened with worry lately. Every time she shows any kind of odd behavior at all I start to check her from head to toe- Measuring her head, checking her fontanel, checking her temperature. The thing about it is that it could be so many different things not even related to the fluid. It is not a worry that we can't make it through, it is a worry that I might miss something somewhere. I don't want her to be in pain or to have CSF pressure on her brain that might cause any kind of damage. I have really tried hard to just give my worry to God but I guess I haven't been very good about it lately. I think that it is because we have had such major stress factors in our life for a long time now. It tends to wear on you after a while. Through this dark cloud of worry and stress there is a bright spot. It is God and the people he has sent us in support. I have been listening to the words of Matthew West's song Strong Enough for months now. Some days I have to sing it to myself several times so that I remember that His hands of mercy constantly cover me. Samantha has another check up next week so I will try to post more after that appointment. Thankful for the blessing of you all. Steph

August 21, 2011

So I could tell you that I'm just a tad bit stir crazy today even though I have been home more this time than last. Today I would really like to be home with all my family together. Maybe soon. So Fridsy's MRI was wonderful. The fluid in that cyst had actually reduced in size and I know that is because of God's healing hand and prayers from so many of you. It is still there and will be watched closely. So as far as Neurosurgery goes we could go home, the problem is that Sam started having seizures this week too. They are different from the seizures she had a few months ago so we didn't catch them at first. They have not done another EEG because all of the machines they had were in use over the weekend. Since they are not life threatening seizures they are trying to see how she does when her meds are increased. Overall Samantha is doing so much better than she was in the middle of last week. I am hopeful that we will get to come home tomorrow or in the next few days. We think the world of both her neurosurgeon and her neurologist because you can really tell that they care about our Sam. We are so blessed to get back on the 6th floor because the nursing staff is fantastic. We have never had a nurse didn't love!!! Thank you all so much for your continued support. The cyst being smaller was our first major blessing of the week but there was also another. When we had to bring Sam back Tuesday I was really stressed about missing days at work since I had just started back. I should have known that God would provide.... It turns out I still have several donated days from last year that I was able to use. I really wish I could thank everyone who donated any days to me last year! Your gift was a blessing that you just can't even imagine. If you happen to know someone who donated days, please hug them for me! I also wish I could hug and personally thank everyone who has said prayers on Sam's behalf. You really have made a difference in our lives! My Sunday School lesson that I taught today was on the word TRUST. The fact that we can trust God is so powerful and the fact that He sends us people to pray, comfort and support us through troubled times is truly LOVE. That is the exact reason why people should find a church body to belong to. God knows we are stronger in numbers.  He must rejoice to see His people support each other and praise His name. So very thankful for all of your support! Love, Steph

This was Sam after her second shunt was placed last week. :(

Gwen couldn't stand it any longer!

We let her get in her hospital bed so they could watch TV together!