September 23, 2011

Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage,

And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!

~ Psalm 27:14

We had a visit with the neurosurgeon yesterday at 2:30. I worked in the morning and had a little bit of time with Sam before her appointment. It was so good to have some time with her since I missed her this weekend when Gwendolyn and I went to Florida. I also enjoyed having some alone time with Gwendolyn. She has been such an amazing kid through all the things our family has gone through in the past year. At her appointment Sam's head was measuring a little larger than just two weeks ago. When we had gone in August it had jumped from the middle line on the chart to completely off the charts. At the last visit it had made it back down to the second highest line and this visit it was charted on the top line. Because of this and the fact she is still having some slight other indicators things could be wrong they decided to have an MRI to check the cyst. On the last MRI that was done, the cyst takes up about 1/3 of the photo of her brain when looking down from the top of her head. They wanted it done soon and since I live about 45 minutes from the hospital they added her in for a scan at 9 o'clock last night. They weren't able to get her back until about 10:15. The good thing is that her scan only takes about 10-15 minutes. We were able to finally get home shortly after 11:00. It just made for a long day when I had not planned on it taking us so long down there. This morning Travis and I were on pins and needles waiting for our doctor to call with the results. Since our main neurosurgeon was in surgery today, we were able to talk to the PA and she let us know that the cyst had grown from last time but it didn't seem to be causing pressure. She was going to talk to our doctor and see what he wanted to do. After our main doctor looked at the scans he decided to wait for a month and have another MRI. Then we will see him right after the scan. I am relieved that we are not looking at surgery at this time but I still feel the stress of the possibility. This is why I added the verse above. It is a verse that I read the other night and something made me read it over and over to myself a few times. I now know that something was God. It came to me when I was finally able to take a minute this afternoon to just sit and process it for a minute. Although I am so tired of all of this, I know down deep that it is okay because He is with me. I have to just praise Him for all my blessings. My two precious girls and my wonderful husband! All my friends and family who have stood by me through all that we have been through. And so many others who I might not even know who continue to pray for our Samantha. Not every moment of every day I am strong, but when I am weak He is there to provide me strength. "God does not take away trials or carry us over them, but strengthens us through them." ~ Edward B. Pusey