January 4th- (24 weeks)

Today was a very long day! We were given some good news and some bad news. The good news is that they didn't find any heart problems.... PRAISE THE LORD! That was how we ended the day and we needed to go to an appointment without hearing the words.. "I am seeing something that concerns me!" A normally functioning heart is a blessing. The bad news is that they found some more problems from the MRI. The neurologist told us today that he found something else that was concerning to him. It seems that along with the fluid on the brain that he is now considering hydrocephalus which will most likely require a shunt within a short time after delivery and the Dandy Walker Malformation that was found a few weeks ago- They now see that she either has an absence or agenesis of the corpus callosum. This is the fibers that connect the two sides of the brain and it is either not there or not completely formed. The results of this could mean a range of problems that could be possible. This was the answer we were given when we were told about the dandy walker malformation which means that we won't know until she is born.  He also saw a dandy walker cyst that will most likely mean a second shunt.  He told us to prepare for a child with delays. I think that God has already been preparing our hearts for this and this is not what scares us. We know that every child is put on this earth for a purpose and that our God knows what He is doing. For me it is just that I am such a planner and I can't really do anything about any of this but wait. Waiting is hard for me. I pray daily that Samantha is as healthy as she possibly can be. When they gave us a tour of Brenner Children's Hospital today they showed us both the Neonatal ICU and the PICU as well. Their reason behind this was that there was a chance we would spend time there someday if she had trouble with her shunt. The doctor said that 50% of shunts fail within 2 years and 80% fail within 8 years. They have to be replaced or other surgeries have to take place. I just feel like I worry enough as a mother of a child who doesn't have medical problems and I am already worrying about Samantha's medical journey and she is not even here yet. The bottom line is that I need to put it in God's hands and try to not worry. I am going to try... hard. When I couldn't sleep last night I starting reading Job. It made me realize that I feel like I am in a pit but it is really just a valley. Job was in a pit!!! He made it through praising God and I know that I can too. Thank you so much for your calls, emails, and messages today. WE LOVE YOU ALL!!!