January 24 (27 weeks)

So once again I feel like I have been hit by a truck. Doctor appointment days do this to me. The ultrasound went okay. The fluid in one ventricle has stayed the same and the other has increased to 2.0. This was something that so many of you were in prayer with us for and I thank you for your prayers. It is a blessing to know that the fluid is not increasing at a rapid rate. The next part of the appointment was with questions about my appointment from Friday. At the end of last week, I called the doctor because I was not feeling right. I was having mild pain in my lower back, seeing spots, having headaches and my stomach was just having strange pains. So they had me come in and found that the outer part of my cervix was open and it my cervix was soft. They sent me over to the hospital for some tests to make sure I wasn’t going into labor and everything checked out okay. They are still worried because I am still seeing spots and I still have headaches so I had some additional tests that I had to turn in today. I should have most results back tomorrow. They are worried about the onset of preeclampsia. Then Travis and I had a list of questions to ask. Travis’ first question was about the new finding of the Agenesis of the Corpus Callosum that was told to us by the MRI and the neurosurgeon. Travis asked him about the mortality rate in infancy or childhood and without hesitation the doctor told us that there was a significant chance because of the findings of all three major problems with the brain. He also told us that we really were looking past mild complications and even a little past moderate complications with Samantha. He said could there be a miracle and she could see minimal effects, yes, but he would be highly surprised. He said that we needed to prepare ourselves for the fact that Sam might not walk or talk or be on a feeding tube. I am glad that he was being honest with us and I know he is just trying to prepare us for the possibilities of the worse situation. So we left a little beaten down. It has been hard today. I know this is a journey and we have ups and downs but it is hard to think I am having a child who we might outlive. Travis and I just don’t want her to be in pain. I hope tomorrow is my get up and take action day because today has been a down in the dumps day. The thing that has hit us the hardest is that we just don’t know and won’t know until she is here. We do know however that God has brought us this far and he will continue to hold our hands through this. Thank you for your friendship, prayers and support. Please say a prayer for an unspoken friend who we saw at the doctor’s office this morning who had just received some bad news. This sweet lady was really due some good news and I pray that once she gets through this process that God will send tons of blessings her way. Life is so precious hug your kids every chance you get!