January 11, 2012

Well I just read my post from January 4th of last year. There was so much worry about what would happen in the coming months. God has richly blessed our family with Samantha. I know it has been a while since I last posted but life has been a little crazy. Right before Christmas, Samantha got sick and started having some strange behaviors that made us fear that her cyst was growing. We had an MRI and shunt series done but found that the cyst showed little change. Christmas and New Year's at the Bode house was more than I could have ever asked for. I often got emotional thinking of just where we have come in the past 12 months.  Samantha turned 9 months at the end of December and it is strange to think she will be turning 1 very soon. She smiles all the time. She loves to stick out her tongue at people and has the cutest laugh when Gwen plays with her. She says DA DA and UH OH. She loves it when you repeat what she says. She has just started to not scream her head off when she is placed on her belly and will hold her head up for a short time. I am not sure if this was a delay because of the shunts, extra fluid in the 4th ventricle, being spoiled or all of the above. She doesn't yet sit up on her own completely but she will for brief periods of time before she starts to fall to one side. She will go on her hands and knees. With a lot of help she can even start to crawl toward an object. PT completely wears her out but we are seeing improvements. She still keeps her legs very stiff most of the time. At our appointment with Neurology this week we were told that Sam does have Cerebral Palsy. Her CP is primarily in her legs from the increased tone. Most likely we will be looking at medication, shots and/or braces for her in about 3 months. We were told that we should be prepared for several years of PT. When I asked her if she thought she would walk she said that she thinks that she most likely will but with the help of some kind of assistance like braces. I asked her if she would outgrow this and she said only time would tell. It just depended on what the actual cause is that was not allowing the connection to be made correctly between the brain and the legs. I had a feeling that this diagnosis would be coming but actually hearing it was still a little bit of a shock. I left feeling numb and emotionally conflicted. I was upset with myself for being upset because I know that she is already doing so much better that what we originally expected. I guess it is just part of the process. Every mother wants the best for her child. I just don't want her to have to struggle. I do know that whatever comes her way, God will see her through it. I was going to load a picture of her tonight. When I took it I didn't even pay attention to the wall plaque but looking at it now it game me a little peace.

Thank you so much for your continued support and prayers for our sweet girl. May I never have a moment were I take for granted just what a blessing both of my precious girls are.