March 30- Almost 37 Weeks

Words can simply not express the emotions I feel tonight. The last few days have been emotionally hard. I feel like I am a soldier about to go off to war. I could get to where I am going and they could sign a peace agreement or we could go straight into battle. It seems so strange that hours from now we will start to have some of our answers. Today was our pre-op appointment and it was a lot different than we expected. Glad to have that out of the way. They told us that we might not get to see her but for a few minutes tomorrow before she is transfered to Baptist. I pray that is not the case. A friend asked me what was worring me the most and I guess it would be that we hope and pray that she is stable when they get her out. One doctor told us that sometimes Dandy Walker kids have trouble breathing at delivery and that has always stayed with me. I just need her to get here and to hold her. Then I feel like I can start dealing with the next step. Please pray for Travis. He feels a very heavy load on him right now. I have wished so many times that his dad would have been here for him to talk to. Bless his heart he is surrounded by women. I know that Sam Bode is looking down at him and would be so proud of the man he has become. I can't thank all of you enough for the HUGE blessing you have been and continue to be on our family. I thought yesterday what a huge blessing it has been to have such wonderful friends as role models for my daughter. Gwen has witnessed over and over how to be an awesome friend by what the friends you have all been to Travis and I. I got on facebook tonight and saw a photo of my Dobson family and just cried... speechless. Employees from SCS have donated 59 days to me so I could be out the rest of the year. I can't even begin to say thank you for that amazing gift. The sad part is because of privacy issues I can't know who donated days but if you know someone who did or you were one of them.... I can't thank you enough for your gift. I have one small request and that is for prayers for tomorrow for our family. I have often related my life these past few months to Job because I know that God's word gives us examples of how we should handle different situations. Job suffered so much more than I could ever think of and so I feel unworthy even comparing my situation to his. In the beginning of Job, God and Satan are talking and God allows SATAN to put the trials on Job for God's glory. When Job lost everything... he praised God. The thing that I have been thinking is that Satan must be really upset that so many of God's people are lifting up this little baby in prayer. It is so overwhelming to me how people all over the world are in prayer for our baby. Even though our GOD ALWAYS WINS... I feel like Satan has been putting up a good fight. I just ask you to pray to our powerful God to surround our family tomorrow so that Satan doesn't even stand a chance to come close to us in any way. Beth Moore once said to pray for the bolds of your gate. That a city long ago was only as strong as the wall and the gate that surrounded it. But the key was the bolts that were made to open and close the city gate. Something so small could make such a difference. Please pray for the bolts of our gate. I also praise God for all He has given us. We so do not deserve all the blessings that have come our way throught the first part of Sam's journey but we are so thankful for His blessings. I hope that you know that you are a part of His blessings on our family. Our C-Section is at 11:40 tomorrow. Thank you for your prayers and support. I will try to be updating the blog because this is the best way for us to keep you informed of our Samantha's Journey.... Love, The Bode Family

March 24th- 36 Weeks

So today we are 36 weeks pregnant. It seems like we are 336 weeks pregnant. This morning I really just thought about where we have been in the last 36 weeks. After a miscarriage in the beginning of the summer, we were so very excited to find out in August that we were pregnant again. Then within a few weeks I started getting extremely sick and stayed that way for over 6 weeks. I ended up with a PICC line, on a feeding tube and finally was able to get a very sick gallbladder removed. The day after, they did an ultrasound to check on the baby because I had been so malnourished. They found fluid on her brain, then the Dandy Walker Malformation, then the ACC and Dandy Walker cyst. We have had 10 ultrasounds, spent over 20 days in the hospital, countless visits to the doctor and it seems like every test they could do on a pregnant woman. This morning I was just emotional to say the least because all of this craziness is finally coming to an end and a new kind of craziness was about to start. We are finally about to have some answers to all of our questions with unknown answers. I was also nervous this morning about seeing if or how the fluid on her brain had changed. In the middle of a morning of praying, thinking and crying, I came across a page of people who were praying for our family today on facebook. What a peace that came over me. I realized that all of the tests, doctor appointments, hospital stays, and more that we have been through are completely trumped by the amount of prayers and support that have come our way in the last few months. God has used you all to help us get through this. I can't even begin to thank you all. I actually started crying again just because I felt blessed way beyond what I deserved! You all make a difference in our lives daily!
So our day was actually pretty good. Sam's ultrasound showed that the diameter of her head is still measuring 5 weeks larger than her body. However one of the ventricles looks as if it might not be as big as it was a few weeks ago. PRAISE THE LORD!!!! She still has a lot of fluid on her brain and the cyst by the cerebellum where the Dandy Walker Malformation is but it seems that it has not gotten worse. Since we actually had a hospital stay 2 weeks ago because one of my tests was showing too much protein in my urine and they diagnosed me with preeclampsia, my doctor will not let me go any longer than 37 weeks. So we will be having a baby next week. We should get the news of exactly when tomorrow once they are able to get everything scheduled with the hospital but we are looking at first thing Thursday or Friday morning. This is exciting and scary all at the same time. We are so excited to have her here and to hold her. We are also very nervous because we have been told that SOMETIMES Dandy Walker children have trouble breathing, eating and more when they are born. This is something we are trying to give to God and not be nervous about but I can honestly say that has been a hard thing for me to do. Then we have been told that most likely she will be taken to Baptist within 24 hours. It is still not 100% that she will have a shunt put in but from all we have been told we feel pretty sure this will happen because of the fluid in the ventricles and the cyst. Everything else is unknown and will be until she is here and we can start to get some of our questions answered little by little. Please continue to pray for our little girl. She is such a fighter and no matter what happens we are so blessed by her in our lives already. God continues to bless us everyday. I can honestly say that there have been some very hard times for us in the past few months and many tears and desperate pleas have been sent to God, but I know that He has never left me. I heard this song the other day and it has played in my head constantly since then. I am so very thankful that my God knows what is best for me and can show me that blessings come when you least expect it. Thank you to you all..... you have been a blessing to our family over and over. We are so thankful that our special blessing Samantha will have you all in her life.

March 3rd- 33 weeks

So it has been a while since I have posted and since we had any kind of news. We went to the doctor and had another ultrasound today. The last ultrasound we had was 5 weeks ago. Since then we have had two regular OB visits without ultrasounds. These were so strange because they were regular appointments but we knew that our situation was anything but regular. We also had no clue how much the fluid on her brain was growing. Also in the last 5 weeks I was sent to the hospital 3 times to be observed. The first time I was not feeling right and the outer part of my cervix was open. Everything turned out okay. The second time I started spotting a little bit and once again everything checked out. The third time was Tuesday. I was cramping and my blood pressure was up. But once again everything checked out ok. This past time I didn't want to go to the hospital because it takes several hours to get observed but I went because the doctor’s office wanted me to go. So by the time we had this appointment we were very frustrated with all the craziness and the unknown. I guess all of this was just getting to me. The last week or two I have been feeling very tired and worn out emotionally and physically. So we were really hoping to get some kind of plan in place today that would help us feel like we had some kind of control in all of this craziness. The ultrasound showed us that the fluid has increased from 1.4 on the one ventricle to 2.0 and the side that was 2.0 went up to 2.5. This meant that the actual size of her head is now being affected by the fluid. Her size is perfect for a baby at 33 weeks but her head is measuring like she is 38 weeks. Even though the doctor said that he still thinks we need to prepare for the more severe end of the spectrum, he also gave us hope because he said he could see some normal brain tissue. He also told us to prepare that it will most likely continue to increase until she is here with us. The doctor was so good to sit with us today and make a plan. So I could continue to work and not have to worry about getting observed at the hospital, he has me now going to two appointments a week to get observed with a non-stress test in the office for the rest of my pregnancy. This is also due to the fact that we delivered early with Gwen due to high blood pressure. If they find any abnormalities at these appointments, they will go ahead and take the baby. We have also made the decision to have an amnio between 36 and 37 weeks to check for the development of her lungs. The plan right now is to deliver at 37 weeks unless the lungs are not completely developed but to deliver at 38 weeks no matter what. So Samantha Grace will bless us in 4 or 5 weeks if not sooner. So I had to make 5 appointments today before I left and it means tons of driving to Winston but it will not be forever... I guess the good news is that we now feel like we have a plan and can see a light at the end of this very long pregnancy.
We have good and bad days but we know who is ultimately in control. Words can't express how God has blessed us. Gwen is asking more questions and is handling all of this better than we thought she would. She told Travis the other night that even if Sam came out with a large head and looked strange she would still be her princess. Then when we were talking about Sam getting the shunt the other night she looked at me and said... "Mom, It should have been me... It should have been me that had to go through all of this!"  All I could do is hug her and tell her that God has a reason for everything and He knew that Sam would need to have an amazing older sister like her. Please continue to pray for us for the next several weeks. God has blessed us with the most amazing people who have been so kind and supportive. I just can't end a post without thanking our amazing God and all of the people who are constantly praying and sending love our way! We love you all so much!